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Last month, the Advanced 2 and 3 writing classes were asked to play both roles in a love advice column.  First, they created questions–anything funny, sad, ridiculous or real.  Then, they were asked to be the advice-giver.  Let’s see what they came up with!

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I am a single, 28 year old woman.  I have someone in mind and he’s been a friend for the last few years.  The problem is he is not interested in me.  One day, another friend asked him, “What do you think of her as a spouse?” and he answered, “I think she is a much better person than I could even think of.”  What do you think this answer means? And What should I do to get his attention? 

I think that him saying that “she is a much better person than I could ever think of” might meant that he thinks you are too good for him and he is lacking confidence to start a
relationship with you.  You got his attention and all you have to do is go straight to him and tell him what you really want.

 

We have been married for over ten years.  In our marriage, we had a lot of fun times.  We could play games together, or watch some movies, and we have four kids now.  My question is: our life has changed from exciting to boring, and I can tell both of our passions have gone.  How can we deal with that?

Everyone experiences the same situation after being married for a long time.  It is claimed that married couples won’t make it through the 7 year itch sometimes, but I’m glad that you say it’s been over ten years now.  First of all, I’d suggest that you should turn your topics of conversation or activities into a spiritual layer.  Both  of you should try to do some meditation every week.  This brings in the “zen” vibe to your home.  Try to keep that “everyday is a fresh new day” as a base before the day starts, no matter how bad the last dinner was or if she ignored your words.  By seeing this as a background, then everything will be tagged with “newness” in our subconscious.  You can just regard dinner as a silly date which could just happen during your dating stage—would that become a funny topic for both of you?

Last but not least, some couples would say that being together is not the most important factor during their marriage.  It’s the feeling of secure and spiritual understanding that matters the most.  If couples are like this, they will find that joy is essential to them, sot here’s a lot of open marriage.  Anyway, each individual’s happiness is each individual’s
responsibility.  Everyone finds t heir own joy and then presents it to the other instead of demanding your other half to fill in the blank for you.  Marriage is always about working together and brings in joy to fulfill your path.

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Last week, I had a surprising situation when I was travelling in New York.  I looked around all the famous places and something happened to me in one of these places.  I met my ex-girlfriend in the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge!  It was a coincidence and I did not keep in touch with her after we broke up.  It had been 1 and a half years since I had seen her in person.  She stumped me and she looked like she did not realize it was me and we were standing very closely next to each other.  As soon as I noticed that, I ran away to another place to
hide.  I texted my close friend who studied with me in university and who knows her very well.  He told me it was destiny and I had to meet her again because we had not had a bad relationship after we broke up.  But I didn’t think it was possible.  I wanted to meet new women rather than meeting my ex-girlfriend.  I tried to think it just happened and it was nothing special.  What would you do if you were in my situation?

Hello, my friend.  I think you must reflect about your real feelings for her.  If you two had great memories together and the feelings are strong enough, you could give a new chance for love.  On the other hand, if in your opinion the relationship really ended and there is no more space for a reconciliation, you have to move on.  In my point of view, if you didn’t have feelings for you, it wouldn’t have worked with your feelings.

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I am a 24 year old woman.  I have been studying abroad to pursue my dream about having a Masters in Business.  In my hometown, I am a successful woman who has collected many awards. I have met a lot of people here and making new friends.  During the last six months, I have been getting together with a guy who is clever, funny, handsome, and easy-going.  I think he is my perfect Valentine but he only has eyes on Amy.  What can I do?  Should I express my feelings to him?

In my personal opinion, you can and you should express your feelings to him.  Even if he has eyes for someone else, they haven’t had a serious relationship, so it’s your right to do something.  You should know there is a proverb that goes like this: nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Try and chase your dream and follow your gut.

What is a man to do when he has urges?  You don’t have to reply, it was a rhetorical question.  Anyway, let’s just say somebody feels some foul feelings for somebody although the former said somebody is already committed to somebody.  Anyway, it must be really hard on a person when they get stuck in a situation like this.  Pursuing one’s desire that ends up hurting another human being…  is it worth it?  Or is it just a phase or is it a sign that you need to start
seeing other people?  (These are not rhetorical questions by the way.  It’d be nice to hear some views on this.) Or maybe people won’t mean what they say because who knows what is happening behind closed doors?  (This was rhetorical.) – The Mighty Fool

As an old Chinese saying goes: “Good relationships need a great run by two people.” I totally agree with this saying.  It works for almost every kind of relationship, especially for young people who are in love with each other.  People need respect, which is the highest criteria above the other rules, like how caring I am to you or how much time I spend with you.  Treat your lover with as much respect as he or she treats you.  Besides, what we can do is care for your lover as much as possible.  Don’t’ always think about yourself.  We can use
switch positions to help us care for our lover.  Think about the question before you make any big decision: “What would he do if he were me?”.  It is really not worth ending up in a relationship by hurting another person as you just want to pursue your own desire.

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I have two old friends who met at primary school and have been best friends ever since.  They are a boy and a girl and it caused a problem: I and the other girl like the same boy.  She doesn’t know I also like him and asked me to help her to prepare for Valentine’s Day.  She wants to make chocolate.  Do I need to say I also like him now or should I not tell her?

I think you need to tell her the truth.  Although you are the best friend, everyone has the
same authority with love.  After you tell her, you can get the fair opportunity to compete.  But you must remember one thing: you can’t break your friendship because of a boy.  In my opinion, the friendship is more important than love and you knew each other for a long time.  This is very valuable.

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The man I liked for a very long time, who has just gotten divorced, just popped the question last night.  The only reason that I hesitate is he happens to be the ex-husband of a good old friend of mine from high school.  I had known they used to be together! What should I do?  I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him.

It is evident that you are into him already but you are thinking of his past.  I would rather
advise you to put behind whatever it was and be focused on the qualities that made you fall in love.  I can bet you will have a great future together.

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S.O.S.! My boyfriend doesn’t pay too much attention to me, even if I try to be well-dressed and beautiful for him.  So one day, I had an idea: my friend texted me romantic messages and I “accidentally” left open my WhatsApp near my boyfriend in order to get his attention.  My boyfriend is the most jealous guy in the world.  Now I don’t know what to do.  Do I have to tell him the truth or live with that?

I think that it’s not necessary to tell him the truth because you had already given him a lesson, and this proved that your boyfriend cares about you so much.  The only problem is that he isn’t so sensitive about how to make you think how much you love him.

 

I have a good friend named Joe.  He was also my high school classmate since we graduated from high school.  We went to different colleges in Canada.  He went to Toronto and I chose a college in Winnipeg.  We haven’t seen each other in almost a year, but we keep in touch on social media.  And here is the problem: I don’t know why our relationship seems worse than before.  We always had lots of topics to talk about in high school and now we don’t have anything to talk
about anymore, which is kind of embarrassing.  So what should I do to improve the situation and not lose his friendship?

Hi!  I know distance can be trouble in any relationship, but try to talk and not only text.  Usually, texting is like a cold conversation and by talking you can spend more time on the phone, and you can feel reactions and emotions; also, you can laugh together.  The most important thing is that friendship is not just about talking everyday, but it’s to share your important things with your real friends.

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I just moved here and I don’t have many friends.  One day I went to the grocery store and met an adorable and lovely guy, I was very shy to tell him that I have a crush on him.  I know he lives around here because each Friday afternoon, he often comes to this store.  Should I ask him out?  How do I ask for his telephone number in a proper way?

Yes, of course!  Don’t be worried.  If you’re attracted to him and you’re very shy, maybe you can go to the store every Friday afternoon for 4 weeks. Let him see you as many times, and you can dress in a special way, like having different hats every time. Then I think he will talk to you first.  Once you chat in the store, it means you have a chance to make a friend.  It’s a good beginning.  Or you can chat with a salesperson first, and you can be friends with them, then they may help you and talk to the guy about a woman who comes to the store at the same time as him.  You can find an intermediary to make a relationship with the
guy.  After talking with him, it won’t be a problem to get his phone number.  The guy will ask for yours first!

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There is a man showing a different attitude to me.  The behavior seems like he is my boyfriend.  He is thoughtful, excited, gentle and single.  I feel that he has fallen in love with me, but when other people ask him about his relationship, he always said I have no valentine.  I’m not sure if we’re just friends or if he needs more time to say something to me.  Am I too sensitive about this relationship?

Hi there!  First, you should check whether he acts the same to other  like when he does to you.  If he acts the same way, there’s a chance that he’s simply a super friendly guy.  After you have made sure that he’s different with you, you might want to be honest and ask him the direction of your relationship and clarify where both of you will go from there.  Proper communication from the beginning, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, will create a healthier relationship.

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All of my friends are either getting married or having children, and here I am, single and having so much trouble trying to find someone who I actually like! The dating world is really hard.  It’s exhausting trying to meet new people all the time., and it just seems like I will never find anyone who is perfect for me.  My friends have told me that I should stop being so picky, and just pick someone already!  I’m almost at the point of giving up.  It’s so hard seeing all my friends moving on with their lives while I’m still alone.  What would you do in my situation?

Hello!  Don’t stress about this.  You have a great opportunity to discover new adventures in
your life and maybe your friends are pretty busy with all the marriage things.  Remember, there is at time for everybody, and your time for now is to take advantage to pack your carry-on and to travel around the world.  Your soulmate is going to be closer than you think.

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